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I’m usually not someone that likes to kick people when they’re down. But in this situation, I can’t help myself – snark trumps sympathy. The relentless media coverage of Britney Spears has lead me to two conclusions: 

  1. Brit-Brit truly needs serious professional help.
  2. One of those professionals needs to be a hair stylist.

 She has the worst weave I’ve ever seen. It’s so tragic it almost defies explanation. Prison inmates look more polished. Prostitutes on street corners appear more pulled together. I just don’t understand it. The woman has millions of dollars, yet she walks around with what looks to be straw, haphazardly clipped to her head. Yes, I know – she’s losing her mind. But she still manages to go to the tanning salon every day, and she changes her hair color weekly. Why can’t Brit-Brit squeeze a salon visit in there?  

I wish one of the paparazzi would at least suggest some new extensions. Or maybe during Britney’s daily Starbuck’s run, a baristas could hook her up with a brush. Somebody needs to do something. I could go out right now to buy some yarn and super glue it to my head, and THAT would look better than her weave.  

Obviously, I’ve been traumatized.

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